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1. Once upon a time...
(Humor/Humor)
... The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man! * Women stop reading here, that ...
2. A little old lady....
(Humor/Humor)
... a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, There are $20 bills falling out of your bag." "'Oh, really? Darn!" says the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling ...
3. An old lady
(Humor/Humor)
... be granted three wishes. "Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich." *** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, ...
4. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)
... jumping today would mean that he would have to jump TWICE tomorrow.... so he just said: "OK.  Let's go." And out the window he went.      Now understand that Felix really was trying his best.  On the fifth ...
... true story of Pinnochio really goes, is that his nose was his penis and his penis his nose. Don't laugh, it's not funny, it's a horrible thing! Can you imagine the torment such a disorder would bring? ...
6. Old Lamp
(Humor/Humor)
...    The man thinks for awhile and says, "I really don't know what to wish for. The genie replies, "Wish for lots of money, that's what most people want in life." The man replies, "No, I have enough money, ...
7. INFLATION BY DEFLATION
(Humor/Humor)
... only 16 oz. even  though it looks  the same size. And the price didn't change. SOB!.    Other bargains really aren't, the price has been held but the quantity  has been reduced but you haven't been told ...
8. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.  Age 6    Think of the biggest number ...
... sleazy materialistic attitudes and jointly hire a hit man to pull the trigger. SO REALLY,  DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FORWARDING THIS ! ...
10. Lucky Charms
(Humor/Humor)
... really enjoys this, will he buy me that mink coat?" is probably                           what's going through your mind.  People who like blue diamonds                           have a notebook of preprinted ...
11. Definition Of Politics
(Humor/Humor)
... the working class and your baby brother the future.  Understand? Son: I'm not really sure dad, I'll have to think about it. That night, the boy is awakened by his baby brother's crying, so he went to see ...
12. Cat Scan
(Humor/Humor)
... that the dog has passed on and that there is really nothing that he can do.  After the woman begs and pleads he finally agrees to run some tests to verify that the dog is truly dead.    He puts the stiff ...
13. Little Johnny
(Humor/Humor)
... her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. 'Finally, I found out what was making them so sick-- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out ...
... needs to get more exercise.He weighs over fifty pounds. - Playing with Mypenis really wears me out. - Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis? - Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active. ...
15. The Last 10 Things....
(Humor/Humor)
... would ever say:   10. Could our relationship be more physical? 9. Go ahead and leave the seat up; it's easier for me to clean the bowl that way. 8. I think hairy butts are really sexy. 7. Hey, get a whiff ...
16. Chat
(Humor/Humor)
... out of the fridge. TedTed2: I did not. You're being paranoid again. TedTed: Again? What's that supposed to mean? I have proof! TedTed2: Oh, really. TedTed: Yes. I found your fingerprints all over the refrigerator ...
... Forrest Frued                Is life really a box of chocolate..                              or is it your mother you want? Forrest SkeeLo               I wish I had a box of Chocolates Forrest Trebeck              ...
...  Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it. FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT ...
19. Heaven
(Humor/Humor)
... his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.  Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed ...
... and     he logs on from home to try to bring it up.  Otherwise things can wait     until tomorrow.    Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?  A: He did it in six days and nights while living ...
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