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Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. ...
  1.   Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders. 2.   Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle. 3.   Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag. 4.   ...
3. drinking game
(Humor/Humor)
... curl up next to the tv, and call up this posting on your Mac, OS/2, or UNIX machine. enjoy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bill Gates Microsoft Windows ...
... during that same hour.  I guess I can live with that.  At least the blender is not tuning in to old I Love Lucy episodes. Dec 9:  I just bought the new Microsoft Home.  Took 93 gigabytes of storage, but ...
You must first remove the plastic cover, but understand that it means agreeing to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute ...
VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in ...
7. Microsoft Buys 1995
(Humor/Humor)
News Flash: Windows 95 WILL be on TIME. In a surprise move, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates announced yesterday that he has purchased the entire calendar year of 1995. 1995 will be replaced instead by ...
What if cars really were like computers? You'd have a helpline to assist in solving problems as they came up... Now just imagine if the same people that answer the phones at Microsoft had to answer the ...
... engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "General Car Fault" warning light. -People would get excited abut the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting that they have ...
10. Ebonics version of Win98
(Humor/Humor)
... Down = Find Put A Cap In It = Delete Games & Shit = Programs Letter Shit = Documents The Ebonics version comes standard with a special edition of Microsoft Works titled "Homie Essentials." The word-processing ...
11. Car Problems
(Humor/Humor)
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other ...
12. Bill Gates vs. GM
(Humor/Humor)
... all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would ...
Microsoft has announced it will spend $425 million to buy WebTV Networks, the operator of a service that allows people to surf the Internet with their television and a "set-top box." A Microsoft spokesman ...
VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in ...
REDMOND, Wa - The Microsoft Redmond Campus was rocked by tragedy today as Paul Fitzgerald, Test Engineer on the Windows NT Team, was brutally murdered in an apparently psychotic tirade by one of the "personalities" ...
16. The Microsoft Joe-Bob
(Humor/Humor)
REDMOND, Wa. -- April 10, 1995 -- Microsoft today announced the release of Joe-Bob(tm), a new software package that the company hopes will open up a huge untapped computer market. With the motto "The software ...