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1. Physics exam
(Humor/Humor)
... in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn’t make up his mind which to use. On being advised ...
2. APARTMENT for RENT‏
(Humor/Humor)
... - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that: #1 - it had been previously occupied, #2 - there wasn't any heat, and #3 - it was entirely too large.' Upon receipt ...
3. My Job
(Humor/Humor)
... she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb ...
... ON SOAP OPERAS She is:  MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED She is not:  COLD OR FRIGID She is:  THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP She is:  COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED She does not have:  ...
5. An old lady
(Humor/Humor)
... makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."  ...
6. APPLICATION REVIEW
(Humor/Humor)
... use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.  To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the ...
7. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)
... Felix out the window. (THUD!)     On the third day (at the third floor) Felix tried a different ploy: stalling, he asked for a delay in the "project" until better weather would make flying conditions more ...
TO:        All Employees FROM:    Management RE:        Restroom Policy and Procedures     In the past, employees have been permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines.  Effective ...
... doesn't need specification. He tried to make the rest of his body a beaut in the hope that one day he would get a root. He started by working on his bodily limbs by pumping lots of iron, out at the gym. ...
10. An elderly woman
(Humor/Humor)
While visiting a doctor, an elderly woman complained:  "Doctor, you're not going to believe this, but I'm having a serious flatuence problem.  I seem to fart all the time, but they never make any noise ...
11. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... with the person who makes all their decisions. - Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?  Because they already have boyfriends! - Did you hear the one about ...
12. Old Lamp
(Humor/Humor)
... says, "How about your sex life? How often do you have sex?" "Oh, about two times a week, " the man replies. "I can make it much more active than that," says the genie. "Gee," the man replies, " I thought ...
13. ANOTHER DUMB ROBBER
(Humor/Humor)
... over and stared," presiding judge James Fleetwood said.  "I said , 'surely no one would be so stupid as to wear the boots he stole to his trial.' "    The prosecution didn't make Taylor's choice in footwear ...
14. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... they do for the queen.  Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.   Age 8    As you make your way through this hectic ...
15. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... out how to make a vibrator mow the lawn.  ...
... person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged."  The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others.   He asks why that is?  St. Peter explains, "Every ...
... you." 1.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.  ...
18. MURPHY’S LAWS
(Humor/Humor)
... what’s going on.          In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.          In order to get a loan you must first prove you don’t need it.          Never eat prunes when you’re famished.          In ...
19. A Large Steamer Trunk
(Humor/Humor)
... contains only personal things, but this time he is more persistent. So she sits him down and reminds him that she makes him happy when he's feeling down, that she keeps the house meticulously clean, that ...
20. Nuns
(Humor/Humor)
    Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.  Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last ...
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