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... that there is at least one good child in each. II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west ...
... his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE ...
3. A little old lady....
(Humor/Humor)
... fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes." "Well, that seems only fair." laughs the cop. "OK? Good Luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?'' "Well, you know", says the little old lady, "not everybody ...
4. Confucious say:
(Humor/Humor)
 - Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.  - Man who stand on toilet high on pot.  - It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.  - Man who jizz in cash register ...
5. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. A: Gunga din.  Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? A: "Follow the yellow brick road."  Q: What are good directions to a urologist's       office? ...
We all know the story of good ol pinnochio who told lies and his nose would grow. But what I have worked out (being a marvelous sleuth) is that this reason for growth is far from the truth. The actual ...
7. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... with the person who makes all their decisions. - Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?  Because they already have boyfriends! - Did you hear the one about ...
8. Old Lamp
(Humor/Humor)
... twice a week was pretty good for a priest in a small town!" ...
... in a pot and cook you eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe.  The good news is that you get to choose how you die."  The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."  The chief gives him a sword, he ...
10. Deep Thoughts
(Humor/Humor)
... old yokel vote.  Age 10    Home is where the house is.  Age 6    Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.  Age 15    It ...
11. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... does it take to change a lightbulb? A. There is some question here. But we have it on good authority that they have     appointed a committee to study the issue and report back to their next meeting. ...
12. Lucky Charms
(Humor/Humor)
... manage to have a good time, even if you have someone else with                           you. You don't have any patience with depressed people and tend                           to sit on them until they ...
13. Tyson Foods
(Humor/Humor)
... of Cardinals to say that he has good news and bad news. "The good news is that the Church has come into $5 billion".  "The bad news is that we are losing The Wonderbread Account".  ...
14. MURPHY’S LAWS
(Humor/Humor)
Anything that will go wrong will.          Anything any good in life is illegal, immoral, or fattening.          It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.          A bird in the hand is ...
15. A Large Steamer Trunk
(Humor/Humor)
... protests, reminding him once again about the clean house,the good food and the great sex.  "I don't care," he tells her. "After 25 years we ought to be able to talk about anything. Now open this goddamn ...
16. the machine....
(Humor/Humor)
... and mixes is with some of his wife and daughters urine, and just for good measure adds some of his own semen.  He takes it down to the pharmacy...  The Machine spits out the following diagnosis... ***YOU ...
17. Neil Armstrong
(Humor/Humor)
... usually com traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lunar lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, " Good luck Mr. Gorsky."    Many people at ...
... for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these       names. "That's a good point Sparky."  "No, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to       disagree with you there, Chachi." 13. Suggest that beer be ...
... me b)  sue me c)  spank me d)  take my firstborn e)  gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in your koi pond, but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at ...
20. Charles Gate
(Humor/Humor)
... like Charles's head. The space ship is the giant floating head of Charles, and is the ruler of all that is sain, good, and pure. But don't worry, if we leave before you sign up, there's still hope for ...
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