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I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for ...
2. A hillbilly farmer
(Humor/Humor)
... that's where I parks the John Deere' The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer said, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.' By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries ...
She does not: GET PMS She becomes: HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL She does not have:  A KILLER BODY She is:  TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE She is not: A BAD COOK She is:  MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE She is not:  A BAD DRIVER ...
4. APPLICATION REVIEW
(Humor/Humor)
... use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.  To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the ...
5. Felix the frog
(Humor/Humor)
... Felix   would surely be able to fly. Felix pleaded for his life, but it fell on deaf ears.  "He just doesn't understand how important this is..." thought Clarence, "but I won't let nay-sayers get in my ...
6. Random
(Humor/Humor)
ANSWER: Gatorade.  QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: Bible belt.   Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? A: Milk and honey.  Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? A: Clean ...
7. Lawyers
(Humor/Humor)
...  Lawyer: She had three children, right? Witness: Yes. Lawyer: How many were boys? Witness: None. Lawyer: Were there any girls? Lawyer: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? ...
... ? How about you're picking your nose for a feed when all of a sudden it starts to bleed - people would look at you kind of funny and grunt "a guy doesn't usually go through 'that time of the month'". ...
... TO ANY OF #8, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES!) 9.  In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?______________     ______________________________________________________________     ______________________________________________________________ ...
10. Random
(Humor/Humor)
... many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three.  One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove. - What is a man's view of safe sex? A padded headboard. - How do men sort their laundry? ...
11. Old Lamp
(Humor/Humor)
This man is walking along a beach one day and finds an old lamp washed up on the shore.  He takes it home and places it on his mantle,  but doesn't give it much thought.    A few weeks later he looks at ...
... quietly and he sits down confused.  A friendly fan, sensing his embarassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls." After this explanation the Irishman stands up in disbelief and screams, ...
13. Random
(Humor/Humor)
Q. How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb? A.. About 16,000,000. However, they are badly divided over whether changing the      bulb is a fundamental need or not. Q. How many televangelists ...
14. MURPHY’S LAWS
(Humor/Humor)
... the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.          The race does not always go to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.          There’s never time to do it right, ...
15. The Red Shirt
(Humor/Humor)
... a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."  The men sat in silence marveling at ...
... hit every branch on the way down. 18)  Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. 17)  Forgot to pay his brain bill. 16)  A few clowns short of a circus. 15)  If he had another brain, it would be lonely. ...
17. What if?.........
(Humor/Humor)
... to be troubled and insecure?  - Is there another word for synonym?  - Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?  - If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? ...
18. Random
(Humor/Humor)
 - It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.  - I saw a sign at a gas station.  It said 'help wanted'.  There was another sign     below it that said 'self service'.  ...
- Mypenis ate my homework. - Oh, no!Mypenis is frothing at the mouth! - Sorry I'm late.I was playing with Mypenis. - I'm sorry, Officer.I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash. - Mypenis doesn't ...
20. The Last 10 Things....
(Humor/Humor)
... of that one! 6. Please don't throw that old t-shirt away; the holes in the armpits are just too     cute. 5. This diamond is way too big. 4. Judge Dredd... now there's a movie! 3. Does this make my butt ...
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