Search
Search Only:

Search Keyword asks

Total: 45 results found.

Page 1 of 3
1. Bear Removers
(Humor/Humor)
... in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going ...
2. An old lady
(Humor/Humor)
... - can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. ***POOF*** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten.  With a smile that ...
3. Accountant
(Humor/Humor)
... I converted every penny into gold coins and they're all stashed under the floorboards in my bedroom closet." "What did this prick say?" asks the wise guy. "He said, 'Fuck you! Go ahead and shoot!' says ...
4. New Home
(Humor/Humor)
... that".  The homeowner, anxious to have the gorilla out of his yard agrees to help the exterminator, but first asks him  " So, what's the gun for:  The exterminator says " that's in case I fall out of the ...
... everywhere.  There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.  The chief is appalled, and asks, "my God almighty, what are you doing?" The New Yorker says, "So much for your canoe, you stupid fuck!" ...
6. It's Wednesday!
(Humor/Humor)
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.  Since this is such a big event, the girl announces that after dinner, she would like to go out and have sex for the ...
7. Two Cajuns
(Humor/Humor)
... His wife asks him what he's doing, and he replies, "I am finally going to get to go over there and kick that damn Clarence's butt..."  He sets out to cross the river and his wife watches him go, then ...
... room full of clocks.  The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?"  St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth.  When a clock runs out of time, the ...
9. A Large Steamer Trunk
(Humor/Humor)
... he finds it is locked.  Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up to the attic and asks her about the trunk. She tells him that it is hers and that it only contains some personal things. He accepts ...
... going to be nibbling during the meeting.  During the meeting, eat 5 entire     raw potatoes. 3. Insist that your e-mail address be "zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com" 4. Every time someone asks you ...
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male  or female?"   After thinking for a moment, his mother responds,"Well God is both male and female."  This confuses the little ...
12. THE OLD HUNTER
(Humor/Humor)
    One day a game warden comes accross and old hunter with a huge, freshly killed deer.  He asks the hunter if he has a hunting license and deer tags, to which the old man says, no I don't.  The game ...
13. Frog
(Humor/Humor)
... "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood."   The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one.  The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed ...
14. drinking game
(Humor/Humor)
... to as the "Information Superhighway." You are invited to publish your own Web page. You are remined that Win 95 will allow you to attempt any of the following trivial tasks: Balencing home checkbook/budget, ...
15. What are Politics?
(Humor/Humor)
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: 1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President. 2. Your mother is ...
16. Irish Humor
(Humor/Humor)
... two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman. ...
... macro. Put phone back on hook. 11:23 am Milwaukee calls, asks what day it is. 11:25 am Support manager stops by to say Marvin called in to quit. "So hard to get good help..." I respond. Support manager ...
... Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over ...
19. The Lone Ranger
(Humor/Humor)
...  The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later ...
20. The Seductive Sound
(Humor/Humor)
...    The next morning, he asks the Monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."   Distraught, the man is forced to leave.   Years later, after never being able to ...
<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 Next > End >>